[April Fools] Telnyx Announces its Entry into the Retail Market with its line of Smart Wear Swimming Apparel

[April Fools] Telnyx Announces its Entry into the Retail Market with its line of Smart Wear Swimming Apparel

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, UNITED STATES, April 1, 2017 / AF PressWire – Telnyx, a leading provider of SIP trunk services, today announced its expansion into retail. The company is looking to dominate the clothing industry because why not, starting with its exclusive Sexy Sippy Trunks Smart Wear line of swimwear.
No longer will men feel inadequate about the corny swimming trunks they have in their wardrobes - floral and aquatic prints are so last summer! With Telnyx’s elastic Sippy Trunks, men can fully realize their dreams of becoming babies again with a one-of-a-kind sippy cup pattern hand painted by actual babies in Mongolia – talk about exclusive!
The breathable fabric in a delectable shade of green provides the private SIP trunk comfort and encryption, ensuring that man-parts are secured because no one at the beach wants to see that. The pepto-pink shade of the sippy cups that kinda look like rashes from afar lets people know that you’re comfortable in your own skin because you heard somewhere that real men wear pink so you’re like, “OK I’m gonna wear pink, but like, I don’t want a full pink getup.”
Best of all, the Telnyx Sexy Sippy Trunk is the ultimate marriage in fashion and function - the smart wear technology woven into the fabric allows wearers to actually make phone calls! Swiping a sippy cup activates the dial pad, enabling you to make a call from your shorts! You’ll also never miss a phone call from anyone - the Sexy Sippy Trunk vibrates with every incoming call. Just swipe a sippy cup to answer. We do advise that you answer your calls in a private spot because you will have to take your shorts off - we haven’t really thought that through yet.
Interested in owning a pair or two or 200 of these amazing Sexy Sippy Trunks? Contact Telnyx today!
April Fools!
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